Moving Past Difficulty
Do you struggle to move past the most difficult situation ever? Or are you convinced that some people are just unforgivable? Though it may be challenging, radical acceptance could help.
Radical acceptance is totally and completely accepting a situation or event that causes you suffering, and this acceptance is felt on a completely cellular level throughout the entire body. Radical acceptance/forgiveness is not excusing, condoning, pushing against, or trying to change what is. There are three parts to radical acceptance:
1. accepting that reality is what it is,
2. that all events have a cause, and
3. that life can be worth living even with painful events in it.
Self-compassion can help you move into a place of total acceptance because it involves directing sensitivity inwardly to your own experience of suffering along with a deep desire to alleviate the suffering. Self-compassion can help because it deactivates the threat system, activates the self-soothing system, helps individuals feel more connected, and reduces feelings of isolation. This can allow you to be supportive and comfort yourself when experiencing hurt, disappointment, or failure. Radically accepting does not mean you will not feel pain which is why using self-compassion to comfort yourself and express understanding for your pain will help you live with it.
Using mindfulness practices can help you make contact with the present moment and help you recognize that pushing against or not accepting the situation is robbing you of the value of the present moment. Using meditation can allow you to observe your thoughts without acting on them. Journaling on the the lessons you learned from this difficult experience can help you commit to taking the actions to radically accept your situation.
Many people feel that they cannot forgive or accept because the event is too traumatic, or they will be condoning or excusing the behavior that caused the pain. Forgiveness can be one of the best gifts that we give ourselves and has nothing to do with another person or event. I believe forgiving is reclaiming your power and when you choose to forgive you are choosing compassion and empathy for yourself which are amazing gifts to give yourself. Radical acceptance/forgiveness liberates you from the intensity of the pain and allows you to create a full life even though you have this painful situation.